


Buttered Noodles At 3am

by hssg (mmmdraco)



Category: Hanson, The Moffatts
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-26
Updated: 2012-07-26
Packaged: 2017-11-10 18:29:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/469340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mmmdraco/pseuds/hssg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Utter crack? Zac goes to driving school... and then things spiral wildly off into a no-man's land of kink and frivolity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Buttered Noodles At 3am

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not associated with any of these guys at all.

Zac pushed open the door marked '202' with a scowl on his face. This was the last place he wanted to spend his Saturday, or any day for that matter. 

Upon entering the room, Zac was surprised to note a familiar face in the room. "Dave?" 

Dave Moffatt looked up from where he was glancing through a book. "Hey! Zac Hanson! What are you doing in driving school?" 

Zac grinned. "They said I was driving recklessly. I personally don't see the problem in passing on the right. How about you?" 

Dave smiled. "No problem there." 

Zac slid into the seat next to Dave and gave him a look. "What did you do?" 

Dave winced. "Um, 17 speeding tickets in two months." 

Laughing, Zac patted Dave on the shoulder. "Oh, man. That's good. And my brothers said that no rock star was a worse driver than me." 

Dave frowned. "I don't drive badly. I just drive fastly." 

"Which, when you break it down, equals driving badly, right?" Zac smirked. 

Closing the book in front of him, Dave shook his head, laughing slightly. "Only when its you. I remember you guys with your golf carts the only time we ever did a concert together." 

"Dave, man, I continue to pride myself on my golf cart skills whenever we have family get togethers." Zac raised an eyebrow. "And what is this stupid book, anyway?" "Driving Responsibly: Your Civic Duty." 

Zac giggled. "You're actually reading that thing? The judge literally threw one at me and told me to study it cover to cover as though I'd done something wrong!" 

A book suddenly flew past his ear. Zac glared at Dave who smiled back. "Sorry, Zac. I had to do it." 

Shrugging, Zac let his grin return as he picked up the book and placed it, open, on the table. "Chapter 1: Using the HTS responsibly. The HTS stands for the Highway Transportation System. You, the driver, must learn to responsibly use this system, in order to share it with the cars, trucks, motorcycles, bicycles and wheelchairs that also use it for their means of transportation." Zac snorted. "Wheelchairs? Since when have I seen wheelchairs zipping alonside my car on the interstate?" 

Dave smiled. "Well, I haven't. I'm too busy going fast. But, it's fun. It's worth the tickets." 

Zac grinned. "Dave the daredevil. Yeah, I think I'll always remember you as being a bit fast." 

Leaning across his desk and punching Zac's shoulder, Dave laughed. "I'm surprised you're here for only one reckless driving ticket. That is, unless you've been here before." 

Zac smiled. "First time here, but there's a traffic school for every state I've ever held residence in. Pretty much every country, too." 

Dave laughed. "And why do I not doubt that?" Shaking his head, he continued. "So, what are you doing in New York? You always said this would be the last place you would want to move to." 

Zac shrugged. "We recorded here, and I stuck around for..." He trailed off, averting his eyes from Dave, instead staring at the cover of the well-worn book. 

Dave's eyes widened as curiousity hit. "Stuck around for what?" His eyes searched Zac's carefully. 

Zac sighed, his grin completely faded as his fingers tapped idly on the desktop. "Nothing, Dave, don't worry about it." 

"No, Zac. It's not nothing if you act like that and when you act like that, you get me worried." 

Letting his breath out slowly, Zac looked around the room again before meeting Dave's eyes. "I stayed for Christine." 

Dave's eyes shut quickly. "Christine? She's back in town? Tell me where so I can stay away, would you?" 

Zac laughed softly, "Well, not anymore. The no commitment queen struck again when I asked her to move in with me." 

Dave let out a breath loudly. "Of course. Just like she did to me a few years back." 

Zac shook his head. "But, there's more. She left me for someone you know quite well." 

Dave groaned and layed his head down on the desk. "Scott, right? I always knew when I met her that she'd run off with him eventually." 

Zac shook his head harder, grimacing. "No." 

Dave's eyes saddened. "Bob?" Zac's face confirmed it. 

"I thought you would have known already." Zac's voice broke the silence after a moment. 

Dave shook his head, raking his hair back with one slightly trembling hand. "No. I haven't exactly talked to him since that whole thing with Scott. I couldn't believe when Bob betrayed me like that... Siding with that loser. And now he's doing the same damn thing." 

Zac sighed. "And Clint? How about him?" 

Dave's eyes widened, his body tensing. "You mean, Scott didn't call you? That fucking asshole!" 

"Didn't call me about what?" 

"Clint's funeral." 

His hand flying to his mouth, Zac gasped. "Clint's what? None of us had any idea." Just then, the door to the classroom opened, and an imposing looking woman walked in to take her place at the front. "Welcome to traffic school." She spoke in a monotone. Zac grimaced, having almost forgotten why he was here. 

Wiping away tears that had sprung up in his eyes, Dave shook his head. "I'm going to kill Scott. The one thing that Clint asked him to do before he died and he doesn't do it." 

Turning his head slightly, Zac began to whisper. "How did it happen?" 

"Christine." 

"What?" 

The instructor turned toward the two. "Be quiet, please. I'm sure some people actually want to listen to the instructional video we're about to show." 

Dave glared at her and she raised her eyebrows in indignation and turned her attention to the VCR. After watching her for a moment, Dave began to whisper back. "Well, you remember how we always used to joke that if anyone ever got in a car with her, it would be the end of their life? We weren't so far off. She crashed into a telephone pole over by Luckie's in Manhattan. He lived for a few hours. Just long enough for us all to get there and say goodbye and for him to tell Scott to call and tell all the guys. Remember when we used to be the guys? Hanging out at Luckie's and drinking some brew when we were in town together. Those days are so far gone." 

Zac closed his eyes briefly. "Fuck her," he finally whispered. "We never even would have known..." 

"No. You would have found out eventually. I've been meaning to call you, actually. I figured that maybe you might be in town for some reason or another. You're always running off places to record some loops. I figured if you were here, we'd run off and grab a brew. I hadn't counted on you living here now." Dave was leaning on his hand now. Neither of then were paying attention to the informational video playing at the front of the room. 

"Believe me, it's as much of a shock to me as it is to you. I'm the only one of us to ever really leave the nest." The nest being Oklahoma in Zac's mind. 

Dave nodded. "Ike's still taking care of your Mom, isn't he?" 

Zac returned the nod briefly. "Yeah. Ever since Dad died, she's been a little gone. Sometimes I wonder if she even recognizes me anymore. She sort of floats around now, not really paying attention to anything. If Ike wasn't there, she'd just watch soap operas all day long." 

"And Taylor? How's he getting along now that Mark's left him?" 

"He found a new guy. They're living together down by the old drive-in. He seems happy, but I've only talked to his boyfriend on the phone. I guess I'll meet him at Christmas." 

"Where have you been these past few years that you haven't met Taylor's boyfriend?" 

Zac shook his head. "Where haven't I been is more like it. I took it upon myself to waste lots of money and see the world after Dad died, and I've been doing a pretty good job of it." 

"Ever head up to Canada?" 

"Yeah." 

"Ever think of stopping by to see me?" 

"Yeah." 

"So?" 

"You weren't there." 

"Oh." 

The instructor had been glaring at them both for the past five minutes, and as the video finished she set her mouth in a thin line before beginning to speak. "If I may remind the class, you are here because you failed to show responsibility on the roadway. I have the power to deem you unfit to operate a vehicle. Please remember that." 

Zac sighed wearily, then gave her the long-ago patented grin that he had used on his parents and policemen and girls all through the years. "Oh, Miss, I apologize. But, my friend and I were having an important conversation about the manual. We were trying to decide whether we could make right hand turns at all red lights or just the certain ones." 

She raised an eyebrow, before letting her face relax into something of a smile. "Well...maybe if you pay attention, you'll find out once we get into the book." 

"Oh, don't worry. I'll just be riveted, I promise." 

Dave gave his own variation on the grin, a sleepy-eyed variety that made him appear to be far more innocent than he actually was. "Honest. We've both seen the videos anyway. It was part of a movie we were doing." 

The lady blushed, then began to stammer. "Oh, I, um, thought you looked a little familiar...if you'll just excuse me, I have a class to, um...instruct." 

Dave smiled and waved and whispered over to Zac, "I cannot believe that she bought that." 

"It's a talent I've been perfecting since I was 11 years old." Zac smiled. "The hair helps, too." 

"No! I meant the movie thing. We've never been in a movie! Well, except those tour videos, but I really don't think they count." 

Zac shrugged. "Closet fan, maybe?" 

Dave gave the woman a once-over as she began lecturing the class on safe driving habits. "Doubtful." 

"Idiot?" 

"Perhaps, but also doubtful." 

"Easily duped?" 

"Most likely." 

Zac smiled. "The gullible ones are always the most fun." 

Dave nodded and slipped a pair of sunglasses out of his pocket and slid them on. "That they are. Now, how about we take it for a ride and see how far this baby can go?" 

Zac snorted and turned his eyes to the front of the classroom. "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm here to learn how to drive, dammit." 

Dave smiled and nudged him gently. "C'mon, Zac. You said it yourself. You know how to drive. And, you know you want to do this." 

Zac smiled. "Perhaps, perhaps." 

Dave rolled his eyes and waited for an opportunity, as the instructor raised her voice above the din. "Now, we'll be reading these chapters out loud, and starting in the back corner. Miss, that would be you." 

Zac quickly raised his hand, giving Dave a knowing look. When he was acknowledged, he began dramatically, "Oh, please... My friend and I, as actors, would like to offer our services to you." 

Dave picked up the line with a smile. "We would love to make this a little more fun by doing a bit of, improv, shall we say. We'll save everyone else's voices and we'll read it and act it out for you all." 

The woman's mouth opened and closed a few times, giving Zac the distinct impression of some sort of fish. She finally nodded, sitting down at the desk and resting her chin on her hand. 

Fighting not to giggle, Zac grabbed the handbook and pulled Dave to the front of the room. He grabbed two chairs and set them down next to one another and shoved the book at Dave who sat down in the 'passenger seat' and began to read. "Chapter 1: Using the HTS responsibly. The HTS stands for the Highway Transportation System. You, the driver, must learn to responsibly use this system, in order to share it with the cars, trucks, motorcycles, bicycles and wheelchairs that also use it for their means of transportation." 

"Dammit, Christopher!" Dave cried. "Watch out for that wheelchair!" 

"Sweet mother of...that old woman must have been going at least 80 in that thing!" 

"I hope not. This is a 45 zone. That would be...illegal." 

"Dun-dun-dun!" Zac sang, off key, raising his hands to his face. "This is a prime example of HTS abuse. That old hag should be stripped of her driving priveledges. You hear me?" He turned to Dave and began to shake him by the shoulders. "STRIPPED!" 

"Control yourself! I can't concentrate on the road!" 

Zac laughed. "Yeah, but I'm driving." He turned back to the class. "This is another example of HTS abuse. Always keep your eyes on the road and your hands on the wheel." 

Dave was having a harder time gauging what was funnier: the expressions of the other people in the class, or the dreamy adoration present on the instructor's face as she watched them. Shaking his head, he turned back to Zac. "Quick! It's an interstate on-ramp. What do you do?" 

"Speed up and merge, merge, MERGE." 

Dave was struggling to stifle his laughs. "Right! Now, let me turn the radio on." 

Zac shook his head held Dave away from the pretend radio. "No! Let me." 

Dave put his hands to his cheeks. "But, Christopher, you're driving! How can you keep your attention on the road if you're changing stations on the radio?" 

Zac threw his head back and placed the back of his hadn against his forehead. "Yes, Robin, you're right. I cannot pay attention to the road. Please, turn on the radio for me!" 

Dave imitated the motions of turning on a cer radio and switching stations. He began to headband and hum along. "Dun dah dah dah dah, dun dah dah... Gladly!"" 

As Zac opened his mouth for another dramatic reading of the handbook, the door to the classroom flew open to reveal a rather...large man. "Miss Simms, may I ask what is going on in here?" He boomed, and Zac shrank back under his glare. 

The instructor, apparantly Miss Simms, stood up and smiled. "Yes. Mr. Parsnip, these gentlemen are transforming our text into a visual display." 

Zac's inhibited look of shock transformed into a smirk upon hearing the man's last name, and he elbowed Dave in the side. "Parsnip? Parsnip is that you? My God, I haven't seen you in years!" 

The man turned his steely gaze over to Zac, then gasped. "Oh, my... I... Can I get your autographs?" 

Zac raised an eyebrow, not quite expecting that question. "Uh, sure?" He looked over at Dave to confirm that they had actually been recognized. Dave just shrugged. "Sure?" 

Fumbling around in his pocket for a few moments, the man produced a piece of paper and handed it to them. Zac looked around for a pen, and spotted one on Miss Simms desk. He and Dave scrawled their messy signatures onto the sheet and handed it back, smiling. 

"My daughter, you see..." he began. "Something of a fan, you know..." 

Dave nodded solemnly. "Oh, of course. Now, then... I do believe we have a performance to finish." 

Parsnip smiled and held up his hand in a sort of wave. "Oh, of course. Go on." He backed up toward the door, his smile still quite evident. He called out, "Have a nice day!" before he walked out the door and let out a girlish scream. 

"Now..." Zac turned back to the class. "That was a prime example of letting yourself be distracted by other passengers in the vehicle. If we had been in a real car, we most likely would have had an accident." 

The pair continued, making stupid jokes and bringing in a few other people in the 'audience' to sit in chairs of their own for things like 4-way stop signs and yielding. Miss Simms even gave up her rolling chair and ran off to grab another one so that Zac and Dave could demonstrate hydroplaning. 

Both boys were exhausted, and yet they hadn't gotten completely through Chapter 2. Zac patted Dave's arm, "Um, Chris...no, Robin, no...whatever. Who was driving again?" 

Dave raised an eyebrow. "Zac, you're in the driver's seat." 

Zac grinned. "Nope. Chinese fire drill!!!" 

"1...2...3...go!" Dave cried, and both boys ran around the "car", with Dave sliding into the drivers seat. 

"Now, was that safe?" Zac asked. "Were we putting ourselves and other drivers in danger?" 

Dave nodded. "Chinese fire drills may be fun, but they're bad. You shouldn't even do them at red lights that just won't change. You never know when a light will change or when someone will zip past you, severing one of your limbs with their mirror. Your loved one don't appreciate it when you come home missing a leg. 'Oh, sorry, honey. I was doing a Chinese fire drill and this car came along and stole my leg. The doctor said I can't have sex for a week.' You don't want that." 

Zac surveyed the laughing class with a grim eye. "Now, you may think that this is funny! You may sit there and laugh now! But you just wait. You wait until it happens to you. Then, it's..." 

"Still funny!" Dave interrupted. "In fact, I encourage you to laugh harder!" 

Zac smiled as the class chuckled. Performing was such a drug for him. He'd thought this day would just save his license. He hadn't counted on getting news and seeing a friend and then getting to have fun and perform. Now there was only thing that could ruin his day: Christine. 

Of course, he certainly didn't expect her to come bursting in through the door and beg him to take her back. Not that he would, of course. But just thinking about her chestnut tresses and green eyes diverted his mind enough that Dave had to snap his fingers in front of him a few times to get his attention. 

Zac cleared his throat and smiled. "Distraction. When you drive, try not to think about other things. If you can do a lot of things at once, that's great. But, if you can't, learn how to focus. The road is not something to mess with. It can hurt." 

Just as he spoke, the door to the classroom opened and a familiar face poked it's way in. Zac saw the face and let another line of dialogue fall from his lips. "And she hurt, too." 

Dave looked toward the door and his breath caught in his throat. "Christine." 

The girl gaped, obviously not expecting to come face to face with the two of them. "Um...am I late?" she stammered, finally. Miss Simms nodded, and pointed to one of the vacant seats in the back. 

Zac closed his eyes, hoping that he had just fallen asleep in front of the class and this was just a nightmare. But, when he opened his eyes, she was still there and Dave was muttering curses under his breath. He coughed and continued, not feeling the same enthusiasm as he had before. "When driving, it's proper to keep both hands on the steering wheel. However, if you only have one hand, then you shouldn't probably not be driving." 

Dave was quick to avert his eyes and turned to Zac. "And if you have no heart, there's a good chance you shouldn't be operating a motor vehicle, either." 

Dave continued, catching Christine's eye as she realized he was mentioning her. "If you've ever driven someone's brother into a telephone pole, then you should probably start riding cars instead of guys." 

"And..." Zac paused. "Should you ever kill someone in your vehicle, it's preferable to respect the deceased's last wishes." 

Christine stood up from her seat at the back of the room and spoke, one hand resting stiffly on her hip. "Pardon me, but what the hell is going on?" 

Miss Simms glared at the girl. "We're spicing up the text. Now, miss, please have a seat. Remember, I have the ability to keep you from driving for a long time."" 

Zac smiled at Miss Simms, who blushed furiously. "Ya know, ma'am, I think it'd be a wonderful idea for everyone to perhaps...explain why they're here? It might help to keep us from doing what we did again." 

Miss Simms clasped her hands together. "Oh! I think that's a wonderful idea! Let's start with you... in the back. Miss?" 

Christine stood up again, her gaze icing over as she pointed it at two former lovers. She spoke clearly and without emotion. "I drove someone's brother into a telephone pole." 

No one spoke for a moment, and it was Dave who finally broke the silence. "Perhaps then, you should take our advice." 

Her nostrils flared and she sat back down quickly, choosing to turn away rather than continue to see the anger in their eyes. 

Zac paused a moment, then looked over to the man sitting next to her. "And you?" 

The man smiled and stood up clumsily. "I, uh, accidentally ran over a few stop signs." 

The rest of the charges were pretty similar, with Zac and Dave rounding out the class. 

"Hi, my name is Christopher, and I'm a reckless driver." 

"Hi Christopher!" Dave chorused. "Hi, my name is Robin, and I drive too fast." 

Christine laughed callously. "Oh, come on. Two smart boys like you and you think up the names Christopher and Robin? Aw, gee, can I be Tigger?" 

"I'm sure I don't know what she's talking about," Zac smiled apologetically. "Can my friend and I help it if our names happen to sound a little funny when you put them together?" 

"Oh, no problem." Miss Simms giggled, then her face turned stern. "Miss, I have asked you once. Sit down." 

Christine shook her head and grabbed her purse. "No. I cannot be in here with those two. I'm just going to go get in my car and drive off and maybe I'll come back for the session tomorrow." 

She stormed over to the door and was about to open it when Miss Simms spoke up. "Miss, I suggest you don't do that." 

Christine stopped. "Oh, yeah? And why the fuck not?" 

"Because you no longer have a license." 

She gaped for a moment. "Excuse me?" 

"You heard me. I have the power to revoke your license, and I have just chosen to exercise it. I suggest you call yourself a ride." 

Christine threw down her purse. "Who the fuck do you think you are?" 

Miss Simms stood proudly. "I am an employee of the Department of Motor Vehicles, miss. And, if you choose to try to drive away from here on your own, you will be arrested." 

During all this, Zac and Dave had been sitting silently, watching Christine with amusement bordering on utter hatred in their eyes. 

"I...I..." she stuttered, shaking her head in disbelief. "Arrest them if you're going to arrest anyone! Christopher and Robin, my foot. That's Zac Hanson and Dave Moffatt, and it's their fault I'm here in the first place!" 

Miss Simms walked out from behind her desk. "I am quite aware of who they are. But, how, might I ask, are they to blame for you being here?" 

Zac crossed his arms and smirked, while Dave stifled a laugh. This should be interesting. 

"They came into my life. Isn't that enough?" she hissed at the boys, who stared back defiantly. 

"No. It is not enough. If you're not going to explain yourself, I ask that you kindly leave us be so that we can continue to relearn the law." 

Christine rolled her eyes and turned her back to Zac and Dave. "Y'know that whole brother comment? That was to me. Dave's brother... Clint... I'm the reason he's dead, but they set me up with him. If it wasn't for them, I never would have been with him." 

Zac stood up from his chair and spoke calmly. "Christine. You know that's not true. You left both of us for him and you moved through the rest of his brothers too. Why don't you go and call Bob to come and pick you up? He's your last chance with anyone who has the last name Moffatt or Hanson." 

Her eyes went dead as he gaze trailed to the floor. "Not anymore," she whispered finally, as Dave and Zac shared a triumphant gaze. 

Reaching down and grabbing her purse, Christine looked over at Zac and Dave once more, letting a single tear trail mascara down her cheek. "Goodbye." 

As she opened the door and walked out, Miss Simms walking behind her to take care of the needed paperwork, Dave whispered after her, "Good riddance." 

The rest of the class stared dumbfounded at the two, who exchanged quick words. 

"I gotta call Bob..." Dave began. 

"You gotta call Bob..." Zac spoke simultaneously. 

Dave looked back out into the room of people. "...after class." 

Zac coughed. "Um, anyway, whose up for some HTS Jeopardy?" 

Several members of the class laughed and raised their hands. Zac smiled and grabbed the book and ran over to the blackboard and grabbed a piece of chalk, beginning to draw a 6x6 grid on the board. He put six chapter titles in the top row of the grid and point values in the other boxes. Then, he walked over to a blank spot and made three numbered columns before turning to the class and speaking again. "Okay, everyone. Split yourselves into three equal groups. Dave and I will make up the answers, you ask the questions. Anyone here not seen Jeopardy?" 

A younger looking man in the back tentatively raised his hand. Zac sighed. "Oh, fine. You don't get to play." 

"Zac, don't be mean," Dave reprimanded. "You can keep score. We don't have time to be explaining rules." 

The man looked happy and trotted to the front of the room. He took the piece of chalk from Zac as the other people in the room moved their desks into three distinct groupings. Dave grabbed the book from Zac and smiled. "Since none of you are returning champions, the group who can sing 'MMMBop' the best will get to start. Group 1?" 

After stumbling around for a few minutes, the group began with a rather sloppy rendition of the chorus. 

"Eh, I don't think so. Group 2?" Zac grimaced. 

Group 2 was considerably better, being able to do at least a half-assed job of getting the words right. 

"Better, better. We may have a winner. Group 3?" 

Group 3 thrust their victim forward. A young woman of about Zac's age with an extremely red face. Sighing, she broke out into the song perfectly, hitting every word and every note. Zac's mouth dropped open. "Um, I think we have a winner. Dave?" 

Dave struggled not to laugh as he walked over to the young woman. She held her eyes shut as Dave looked her over. "Hey, Zac? Are you sure this isn't Taylor?" 

Zac grinned. "Nah, even Taylor's not this pretty." 

The woman sighed softly. "Um, thanks?" 

Zac walked over and tapped her on the shoulder. Her eyes shot open and she gasped. "Oh! Hello." 

"Hi, yourself. What's your name?" 

She opened her mouth, then closed it, acting flustered for a moment. Then she smiled. "It's Julie Anne." 

"Nice to meet you, Julie Anne." Zac grinned. "Or can I call you Julie?" 

"You can call me whatever you want," she stammered. 

Dave rolled his eyes. "Well, whatever you call her, she has to start the game." 

Zac grasped her hand and shook it gently. "Right. So, Julie, what category would you like?" 

She looked up at the board. "Um, Road Signs for $400?" 

Dave scratched his head for a moment. "Okay, this sign means yield." Julie giggled. "Um, what is a yield sign?" 

Zac laughed. "That's right! Give the lady $400!" 

Dave held up a hand. "Not, like, literally. That just means that Group 3 gets 400 points." 

Miss Simms walked back into the room then. "Zachary, David... I have some news you might like." 

Both boys turned, Zac dropping Julie's hand. "Is it about her?" Dave asked. 

Nodding, Miss Simms motioned toward the door, a somber expression on her face. "If you'll just step outside with me, I'll tell you." 

The trio exited the room and stood just outside the door. Dave twiddled his thumbs, not meeting her gaze. "So, what's the news?" 

Following her outside, the boys were severely displeased to see Christine sitting on a bench down the hallway. "She's still here?" 

"Yes. She's called your brother," she indicated Dave, "to come and pick her up." 

"And?" 

"And by failing to complete the class on this date, she's violated her probation." 

Zac's eyes widened. "And, what does that mean?" 

"It means that even though your brother is on his way, she'll be leaving with the police." 

Dave looked puzzled. "Then why's he coming?" 

"He wants to talk to you." Miss Simms shrugged. 

"But, shouldn't we be in class?" 

Miss Simms put her hand on Dave's shoulder. "You boys barely have to use that book to do all of what you're doing in there for. I know that you know the law, you just break it sometimes to make sure it's real. As long as you're there for the last 20 minutes of the class for the test, I'll pass you." 

Zac smiled. "Thank you. Can we do anything to repay you?" 

She blushed and nodded. "Could I, um...perhaps, have an autograph?" 

With smiles, the pair nodded. Zac took her hand and shook it warmly. "We'll stay after class and personalize it. We'll be back for the test. Thank you ever so much." 

Miss Simms blushed again and shooed them off. When they reached the end of the corridor, she smiled. "Oh, if only there had been boys like that when I was that young. Maybe I'd be married." With a sigh, she headed back into class to teach. 

Zac followed Dave to a bench at the opposite end of the hall from Christine to wait. The boys made small talk as the time ticked by. Finally, a familiar brown head was spotted coming down the hallway. Christine rose to meet him with tears in her eyes, but he brushed past her, instead continuing down the hallway to meet his brother. 

Christine sat down with a light cry and glared at the three boys in front of her. Bob walked over to Dave and enveloped him in a bear hug, whispering, "I'm sorry." 

Dave smiled in the embrace and patted Bob's back gently. "For what, Bob? Believe me, I know how it is." 

Dave pulled away after a few minutes and held Bob at arm's length. He disapprovingly noted the lost weight and the bags under his brother's eyes. 

"Hi Zac." Bob spoke finally, smiling at him. Zac returned the greeting with a wave. 

"How are you?" He asked as Dave released Bob from his grip and the three of them sat. 

"I've been better." Bob shrugged, pulling his coat tighter around his shoulders. Zac gave him an understanding smile, and the conversation flowed quickly. Family, old friends, and, inevitably, Christine came up. The trio hardly noticed when an older policeman came to take the girl away. Dave was the only one who saw the look of pure contempt she shot them as she was escorted out. Time passed, and Zac was the first one to realize that they should be getting back in the classroom for the test. 

"Hey, Dave?" 

"Yeah?" 

"What time were we supposed to be back?" 

Dave looked down at his watch. "Um, now?" 

Zac rolled his eyes, grabbed the brunette brothers and towed them down the hallway. 

Opening the door, he found Miss Simms poised to hand out the test. 

"Welcome back, boys." She smiled at them. "If you'll just take your seats." 

Bob stood uncomfortably for a moment before following Dave and Zac to their row, and sitting in the third unoccupied seat. 

Miss Simms finished handing out the tests and walked back to the front of the room. "All right, class. You've had your day here and now, the only way you have to worry is if you didn't pay attention. This is a short test with 20 questions and some sign identifacation. As soon as you are done, bring your test up here and it will be graded and then, you may go." 

Zac and Dave were the first done, which was no surprise to anyone. Miss Simms quickly graded their tests, pronounced them perfect, and gave them leave. "Thanks for making my day so entertaining, boys." 

"You're welcome." Dave grinned. "Oh, wait, don't we owe you something?" 

"Oh, that..." She blushed a little, and pushed a piece of paper forward. "If you wouldn't mind..." 

Zac smiled, grabbed a pen, and set it to the paper. "Who should I make this out to? Miss Simms is too formal a name." 

She blushed harder. "Sylvia." 

"Sylvia Simms. I love it." 

After the three of them had scrawled a quick message to her, Zac handed the paper back. "Thanks again." He grinned. 

"You're welcome, Zac." She paused. "You know, this isn't the first time we've met." 

"Really?" He looked puzzled. "I've not been here before..." 

"My daughter got me hooked on you boys. I was backstage at the Beacon. I'm sure you don't remember, but I just thought I'd let you know. You must have been...oh, 11 or so." 

Dave look puzzled. "But, you're a Miss..." 

She cleared her throat and looked down at her feet. "Abstinence wasn't exactly pushed when I was growing up." 

Bob laughed. "That's nothing to be ashamed of. We've had all these girls throw themselves at us and that's now that they do push abstinence." 

After exchanging a few more words, the three exited into the hallway, where they stood debating what to do next. 

"Well, we could always go for a drink..." Zac began. 

Dave and Bob debated the idea for a moment and agreed. Zac smiled and headed outside. "He stopped outside the door and asked, "Where are we going?" 

"Luck..." Bob started to say, but trailed off. "Sorry, habit. There's a new pub on second avenue. Near my apartment." 

Zac nodded. "Right. Sylvie's. Woah! Man, I just realized... Our Miss Simms? She must own that place. I've been their once before and she was bartending. I just realized it now because she called herself Sylvie and she wasn't being the same old DMV gal." 

Dave looked at him incredulously. "That's a bit of a longshot, Zac..." 

"Hey, I saw her with my own two eyes. I knew I recognized her!" Zac grinned. "So, we gonna go check out her joint?" 

Bob laughed. "Sure. Might as well. Say, Zac, how much did you have to drink last time you were there?" 

Zac laughed and walked over to his car. "Just a martini, Bobby-boy. I'll meet you guys over there. Loser's bet that Dave gets there first. Speed demon!" 

Dave laughed and called back, as he got into his own car, "Road hog!" 

Bob shook his head and climbed into his own car. "To think that I'm supposed to be related to one of those guys." 

True to form, Dave arrived at Sylvie's a good twenty minutes before the other two, dodging midtown traffic and parking illegally in front of a fire hydrant. 

After waiting in his car for five minutes and deciding that Zac and Bob had gotten caught in traffic and had probably both gotten flat tires since they weren't there yet, Dave locked his car and entered the bar. He grabbed a table near the front door and began eating the peanuts which were in a small basket on table. A waitress came by and got his drink order and brought him a martini. Just as he was about to take the final sip of his drink and give up on Bob and Zac, he saw a familiar someone on the other side of the room. He gasped just as the last bit of liquid poured out of his glass and down his throat, causing him to cough. 

Zac and Bob walked into the bar to see Dave grasping his throat and hacking. As they watched, he threw his head back and his chair went toppling backward, his shoulder knocking into the table next to his and upsetting all the drinks on it, sending glass to the floor to shatter. With a final hacking cough, Dave collapsed on the ground with a tall man from the next table glaring at him. 

Zac walked over and held his hand out to Dave. "Didn't have enough fun today?" 

Dave grabbed Zac's hand and was helped to his feet. He coughed a bit more, then pointed over to the other wide of the room. 

Zac's gaze followed Dave's finger and his eyes widened. "A drag queen who looks exactly like Scott?" 

Bob grabbed onto the table for support. "Looks like isn't the terminology I'm going for here, Zac. I think...I think...oh my God." 

"I'll kill him," Zac snarled suddenly, pushing past Bob aggressively. 

"Well...shit." Dave shook his head, watching the scene unfold. 

Zac stormed over to Scott, spun his chair around and slapped his firmly, leaving his hand and Scott's face streaked with coral-colored lipstick. Scott's eyes widened as he realized who had slapped him. He immediately turned back and said over his shoulder, "Who do you think you are beating up on a poor, defenseless girl?" 

Zac chuckled. "You're a girl as much as you are a real man, Scott. Why didn't you call?" 

Scott trembled but didn't look back. "What are you talking about?" 

Zac grabbed Scott's shoulder and spun him around again. "I mean, when one of your old flames killed one of your brothers and his dying wish was for you to call some people for him and you didn't do it. What the fuck is up with that?" 

Scott shrugged. "Not a clue," he responded, sullenly turning to stare into Zac's fire-filled eyes. 

"Look at you." Zac smirked. "Look where you are! Are you happy, Scott? Is this where you want to be?" 

Scott smiled and leaned up to try to fix his lipstick. "Yes, Zac, this is exactly where I want to be." 

Zac rolled his eyes and breathed in deeply. "Scott, you..." He stopped and sniffed the air a bit. "Are you wearing Chanel No.5?" 

Scott averted his eyes for a moment, before nodding. 

"Can't get rid of her that quickly?" Zac appraised him coolly. "I bet you have it stockpiled, don't you?" It was a well-known fact that Christine's favorite fragrance had been Chanel No. 5, and most of the boys had bought her a bottle or two in their time. 

Scott looked up at Zac quietly. "What are you doing in New York?" 

Zac sat down on the bar stool next to Scott's and ordered a double martini. "Well, I live here now. This morning I got to go to traffic school. This afternoon I got to see Christine carted off to jail. Now I'm here with two of your brothers getting ready to get drunk and call myself a cab to get home. How about you?" 

Scott gasped. "Christine's in jail? I'd better go bail her out." 

Zac clamped his hand down on Scott's shoulder. "What's your fix on her, Scott? She's gone. She's through with you, me, Dave and Bob. Clint? She couldn't be more through with him. And what's going to happen when you walk into the police station reeking of Chanel No.5 and dressed like a woman? A woman who's a hooker, no less." 

Scott shook off Zac's hand. "But she doesn't have the money..." 

Zac shrugged. "Let her rot. She could do with time in there. Come with me, instead. I'll buy you a drink." 

Scott frowned, but relented. "Okay. Do you want to go sit over with... them?" 

"Scott, they're your brothers." 

"She changed everything between us." 

"That she did." 

"They're not going to want to see me." 

"Try them. Dave's in a forgiving mood today." 

Scott sighed, reluctantly standing to follow Zac over to his brothers. 

Dave and Bob were sitting at the table trying to be inconspicuous and whispering conversation to one another. Dave looked up as he sensed Zac walking over and tensed as he looked over and saw Scott's closely shaved legs partially covered by a patent leather miniskirt. "Zac? Who is this person you've brought over here and why do I get the feeling that I don't really want to know?" 

Zac took a deep breath. "Dave, you know perfectly well who this person is. Just say hi. All you have to say is hi." 

Dave continued looking at Zac. "Hi." 

Bob attempted a smile. "Hi, Scott." 

Scott tucked a highlighted piece of hair behind his ear. "Hi, guys. Long time, no see." 

Dave allowed himself a disinterested grunt, while Bob thought of the best way to respond. "Yeah, it has been. How're you?" 

Scott cleared his throat and sat down in one of the chairs at the table, Zac crossing over and taking the seat on the other side. "I'm... not too good, actually. This lipstick tastes like crap." 

Bob smiled, Dave rolled his eyes, and Zac spoke. "It's not coming off my hand, either." 

Scott giggled, then froze. "Aw, man! That means it's not going to come off my face, either!" 

"Ain't that a shame." Dave spoke sullenly, wincing when Zac kicked him under the table. 

Scott licked his lips, his eyes closed. After a noticable pause, he looked up at Dave with wide eyes. "Dave, what did I ever do to you to make you hate me so?" 

Dave looked up in shock. "What did you do? Scott, what didn't you do to make me hate you? Anything that made me happy, you took. She was mine first, and you took her. You leave me to tell everyone about Clint, and all the other fuck ups she left in her wake, and you ask me what you did. That's good, Scott, that's really, really good." 

Scott nodded softly. "Yeah, it is good, isn't it? God, why didn't anyone tell me how much she was fucking up my life?" 

Bob cleared his throat. "So, Scott, is she why you're, uh, dressing like this now?" 

Scott shook his head. "No. But I base this..." he gestured towards himself, "on what she used to be like. When we first knew her." 

Dave looked over at Scott again, then looked under the table. "Wait! That's her skirt." 

Scott blushed. "Yeah. It is. It's her bra, too." 

Gaping for a moment, Dave finally let loose with a chuckle. "I can't say I envy you anything now, Scott." 

Scott scowled. "Yeah, well, at least I didn't keep her cat." 

Dave looked puzzled. "Pardon?" 

Scott grabbed a peanut. "Her cat. The one she had when you lived with her. She said you kept it." 

Dave seethed. "What the hell? She ran over that cat!" 

Zac choked on the peanut he had been busy swallowing and Bob stifled a laugh. 

"Oh..." Scott looked puzzled. "She seemed really upset about it at the time. Maybe that's why." 

Dave shook his head. "I don't believe this. I don't believe her! Of all the... What nerve!" 

"Dave...calm." Zac smiled. "At least you're not wearing her underclothes." 

Dave's mouth dropped open as he looked over at Zac, looking as though he were going to speak, but closed as he shook his head and looked back at Scott. "Bro, she screwed you over. She screwed all of us over. Every Moffatt and the only Hanson who is cool enough to be a Moffatt... Although, right about now, you would look good standing with Taylor. Where exactly did you learn to put on makeup that well? I never could get my eyeliner right." 

Scott shrugged. "I didn't get into this all at once, you know. I had to learn from someone." He paused before turning to Zac. "How is Taylor, anyhow?" 

Zac's eyes went wide. "My brother taught you how to put on makeup?" 

Scott laughed. "Taylor? No. I was just asking how he was since Dave mentioned him. Isaac was much better with makeup." 

"Oh, well in that case, Taylor's fine. He's still living in Tulsa." Zac's mind suddenly clicked. "Isaac?" he screeched. 

Scott laughed. "Yes, Isaac. He's just better at covering it than Taylor. C'mon. You had to have known." 

Zac shook his head, brown eyes wide. "I think I need a drink. Now," he whispered, finally. 

Scott laughed again. "Sorry, Zac. I couldn't resist. Your brother, Ike, is about as straight as they come, but, yes, he does know how to apply makeup. He did date one of your makeup artists for a while." 

Zac sank back into his chair, sighing. "Don't do that to me, no no no. Bad Scott, bad. Having Taylor run around at family gatherings with his latest flame is bad enough. I don't think I'd make it if Ikey came in, err...flaming." Zac shook his head. 

Bob stifled a giggle. "But, I could see him going around in better drag than Scott." 

"Hey!" 

"Oh what? Have I hurt you feelings?" Bob smiled. 

"No, I just like to pride myself on being one of the best drag queens uptown Manhattan has to offer..." Scott began. 

"Oh please, don't flatter yourself." Zac snorted. 

Dave reached down into the bowl of peanuts and turned one slightly. "There. The Mona Lisa." 

Zac craned his head to look. "Um, yeah. So, Scott... does putting on a skirt give you a thrill? And, don't you get razor burn?" 

Scott rolled his eyes. "No. Skintimate peaches and raspberry rain!" 

Bob snorted and covered his mouth, and Zac grinned. "I'm serious, Scott, what got you into this? Taylor, yes. Bob, maybe." 

"Hey!" 

"You...I don't know, you always seemed the most masculine of our little group. Well, except for me of course." 

Scott raised his eyebrows. "With that hair? Yeah. But, uh, I guess I can blame it on Christine again. In that relationship... Well, you all dated her! For a girl, and looking so much like one, she had a lot of testosterone and liked to show it!" 

Zac shrugged, "That she did. But, well, I'm not in drag and you are. There's gotta be something more to it than that." 

Scott coughed. "Well, uh, the underwear. This is actually really comfortable. It's that Jockey For Her stuff. You've got to try it." 

Dave laughed a little, before returning his gaze to the peanuts. "You too, eh?" 

"Him too, what?" Zac looked confused. 

"You mean she never made you...ya know...try any on?" Scott asked, as Bob and Zac shook their heads, dumbfounded. 

Dave pulled the bowl of peanuts over and dropped his head into it. "Ow!" When he sat up, a peanut was sticking out of one nostril. "That bitch! Every time we had sex, she made me put on her underwear afterward! Sure, it was comfy, but it wasn't my color or my cut!" 

"Bob," Zac quietly whispered, "Wanna move?" 

"No." Bob shook his head. "I want a drink. Something hard." 

Zac pulled out his wallet and laid it on the table, throwing his hand into the air and calling a waitress over. "All right, Miss, four shots of your best tequila." 

The waitress looked down at him. "ID?" 

Rolling his eyes, Zac opened his wallet and showed her. "There. Would you like to see my condom collection as well?" 

The lady pursed her lips, "No, I don't think that'll be necessary." 

"Zac," Dave chided when she had departed. "You have to be nice to people here. This is Sylvie's place..." 

Zac looked at Dave for a moment. "Dave? How much did you have to drink before Bob and I got her?" 

Dave scratched his head. "I don't know. But, I think these peanuts are coconut." 

Scott nodded, looking at Dave. "I think he doesn't hold his liquor as well as he used to." 

"I can do just fine, thank you very much!" Dave grumbled, continuing to examine the peanut. 

"Well, wasn't our goal in the first place to get drunk?" Bob shrugged. 

Zac shrugged. "It was to drink. He'll have that tequila and pass out." 

Scott grabbed Dave's head as it headed for the peanut basket again. "Dave, bud, come on. The nuts aren't that yummy." 

Dave smiled and put his hand on Scott's shoulder. "Oh, but nuts are yummy. Can I taste yours?" 

Scott grinned, "My, aren't we just...chipper?" He shook Dave from his shoulder, who sat back with a discouraged sort of look on his face. 

Zac took a peanut and ate it slowly. "Ya know, maybe Dave is right...this does taste like coconut!" 

"Coconuts, peanuts, Scott's nuts, what's the difference?" Dave grinned, leaning back on his brother. 

Scott rolled his eyes and pushed Dave back again. "Somebody, get him that tequila and make him shut up!" 

Dave giggled maniacally for a moment. "Oh, Scotty, you say the sweetest things! Can I put the tequila on your nuts?" 

Bob burst out laughing. "Oh, dude, he's acting! He's not shitfaced at all." 

Dave sat up and scowled. "Damn it, Bob! You ruined everything!" 

Scott gaped. "Dave, you..." 

"Dude! I never would have figured it out." Zac stared at Dave with approval. "That was great!" 

Dave laughed, stood up, took a little bow and sat back down. "Did you really think I could go from being able to drink Boris Yeltsin under the table to not being able to hold two sips and a gulp?" 

Scott shrugged. "I dunno," he mumbled. "You seemed to be doing a pretty good job with it." 

"A martini, Scott. I had a martini." 

"It could have been a double!" 

Dave laughed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Scott... I'm sorry. I honestly can't look at you like that. You are wearing far too much blush." 

Rolling his eyes, Scott smoothed back his hair and batted his eyes. "Are you sure it's the blush? I would have thought the eyeliner would disturb you more." 

"Oh, believe me, it's plenty disturbing." He grinned. "But the blush just accentuates your cheekbones to no end." 

"Tell me Scott," Zac began. "Out of curiosity, you don't dress like this all the time, right?" 

Scott shook his head. "Nope. Only on weekends and Wednesday evenings." 

"Why Wedne..." Bob began. 

"You don't want to know," Scott cut him off dismissively. "Oh look, drinks." 

Zac looked up at the waitress and smiled. "Hey, Sylvie." 

The woman looked down. "Huh? Oh, my... Zac! Dave! Bob! And... Scott?" 

Zac chuckled. "Yup. I realized that I recognized you and so, we all headed down here to surprise you." 

Sylvia looked around the group slowly. When her eyes landed on Scott and she smiled warmly. "Oh! You come down here for karaoke in that getup!" 

Scott blushed. "Yeah...that I do." 

"We're having a 70's night this Wednesday." She grinned, setting his drink down in front of him. "Disco balls and everything." 

His eyes lit up. "Really? Oh, gosh... And I thought 80's night was the best I was going to get. I've got the perfect skirt!" 

Bob coughed. "Um, Scott... Do you want to stay related to me?" 

"Um, yeah?" 

"Then... chill." 

"But...but!" 

"He's right, hon." Sylvie smiled. "Let the alcohol calm you." 

Scott glared at Bob for a moment, then grabbed his drink and swallowed it in one gulp. 

Dave watched Scott carefully. "God, you ever drink like her." 

Rolling his eyes, Scott set his glass down and eyed the rest of the table. "Can we please not bring her up anymore?" 

Zac smiled up at Sylvia. "You wanna keep bringing them to him until he passes out?" 

She laughed and placed a hand on Zac's shoulder, "As long as someone picks up the tab, I'll keep bringing them till he's dead." 

Giving Scott another glance, Zac spoke with a laugh in his voice. "Tell you what, if he just passes out, I'll buy. If he dies, he's buying."" 

Sylvie giggled. "Sounds good to me. Now, if you boys'll excuse me, I have other customers to...oh wait!" She seemed to remember something important. "That cute little girl in the class today, Zac. She seemed to think I'd know how to get in touch with you. She wanted me to get her number to you." She produced a folded piece of paper and handed it to Zac, who smiled, thanked her, and pocketed it. 

As Sylvia walked off, Bob began to laugh. "Oh, God, Zac! Can you not leave anywhere without getting some cute girl's number?" 

Zac grinned. "It's a gift. Women want me, men want to be me, and small children bow before me." 

Scott rolled his eyes and raised his glass. "Well, in that case, I propose a toast to the wonder that is Zachary Walker Hanson." 

"You're toasting me with an empty glass? How dare you! Bob, kick his ass!" 

Bob looked up from his tequila. "What? No! You do it yourself." 

"You're closer!" 

"You're...taller." 

"That's beside the point." 

"Oh, here we go..." Dave groaned. 

Zac looked over at Dave. "You kick his ass." 

"You do it!" 

"You're closer, too!" 

"You're...blonder." 

"That's beside the point as well." 

Scott simply yawned, and stood. "While you're talking it over, I need to go powder my nose." 

Zac looked up from where he was arguing with Dave. "Hey, Scott... Which bathroom do you go into?" 

Scott eyed him, "Men. Like I said, Wednesdays and weekends. It's not like I'm going for an operation or anything." 

Zac nodded and went back to his conversation, only taking a moment to note that Scott's butt looked quite attractive when encased in patent leather. 

"So...who was kicking his ass again?" Bob wondered, scratching his head. 

"Doesn't matter." Zac shrugged. "This has been such a weird day." 

Dave nodded and drank his tequila. "I think we should all move in together just because I hate not seeing you guys." 

Zac nodded. "I think that's a very good idea. We could help Scott with his makeup." 

Bob raised his arm to hail another waitress. "He needs it. He also needs to get a decent lipliner. Whatever the hell he's using, he's not applying it right." 

Zac rolled his eyes. "Yeah, and I'm so sure that he can afford the really great stuff." 

"It's not about what he can afford, Zac, it's about how he uses it." Bob shook his head. "Yeah, I'll have another one of these..." He indicated his glass, and the waitress nodded. 

Zac stopped the waitress. "Round out the table with 'em, 'kay?" He looked back at Bob. "Are you saying it matters how you apply lipliner? What the hell is it anyway?" 

"Well, Zac, you wouldn't really need it, since your lips are rather, erm, full." Bob giggled. "But, Scott wasn't blessed with a mouth as luscious as yours, and therefore he lines it to make it seem fuller." 

"Are you saying I have pretty lips?" 

"I'm just saying that you can pout well..." 

Zac thought it over for a moment, then shrugged. "Oh, okay. But, what does it matter how you apply it?" 

"The fact that I could distinguish it on Scott was bad. It should be subtle, and blend. His stands out, and that's just not cool." 

"So... it was the wrong color? Or, you're supposed to put the liner on and then the lipstick, or..." 

"Zac, don't think about it too much. And, get Dave away from the peanuts!" 

"You do it!" 

"You're closer!" 

"You're...Moffatty-er." 

"Oh yeah, that was good." Bob rolled his eyes and pelted Zac with a peanut. "Dude, think Scott fell in? He's been gone for a while." 

"Um... I don't know. Maybe he found a cute guy?" 

"I dunno. Do you think he's like that?" 

"Well, he and Taylor used to make moon eyes at each other all the time and he is dressed like a woman." 

Dave shrugged. "I'll believe it when I hear it...or see it, or whatever." 

"Believe what?" Scott asked, seemingly coming out of nowhere. 

Bob grabbed the peanut basket from Dave with a grin. "That Dave has an unhealthy obsession with nuts." 

Scott scratched his head. "Oh, ok." 

Dave grabbed for the basket of peanuts with one hand, leaning as far as could across the table, the basket lying just out of reach. "Damn it! All I want are some nuts!" 

"No nuts for you." Zac giggled, yanking the basket further from his reach. 

"Zac! Let me have the nuts!" 

"Oh, bite me." He grinned. 

"I will!" Dave growled. 

Zac held out his arm. "Give it to me, baby!" 

Bob giggled. "Uh huh, uh huh!" 

Scott lay his head down on the table, "I'm not drunk enough yet." 

Zac let his arm fall to the table. "How long ago did we order our drinks?" 

"I don't know." Dave shrugged, "I'm about to go stick my head under a tap, though." 

At that moment, Sylvie walked over carrying their tequilas. "Oh, boys, I'm sorry this took so long. All the waitstaff have turned into teenies." 

Zac snorted. "How long has Scott been coming in here?" 

Sylvie shrugged. "A while, I suppose. Right, Scott?" 

"I guess." 

"And they never noticed who he was before?" 

"Well, he usually sits at the bar. Everyone knows who he is." 

"So, it's just the rest of us then?" 

"Zac, no one has seen you guys together in years." 

"But it's not like we haven't been visible..." Zac protested. "Hanson's had albums...we keep in touch." 

Bob spoke up. "But we haven't." 

Sylvia nodded. "Zac, it's a big deal to have, well, the living Moffatts all together with a Hanson after a good four years of them not touring." 

Zac held up his hands in defeat. "Fine, fine, it's a big deal. Shall I call Tay and Ike and have them fly in?" 

"Only if you feel like it. I'm just here to remind you how to drive and then bring you tequila so I can get you to drive a little more and get you back in my class. I promote a vicious cycle," Sylvia deadpanned. 

"Ah, so that's how the DMV makes its money." Dave laughed. "Seriously though, about Taylor and Isaac." 

Zac raised an eyebrow. "No." 

Sylvia grinned and placed their drinks on the table. "Zac, you don't have to call your brothers and we don't have to talk about this any longer. Do you, uh, want another basket of peanuts?" 

"Yes!" Dave cried. 

"No," Zac, Bob, and Scott spoke at the same time. 

"Aww, c'mon..." Dave grinned. 

"Sylvie, please, no more peanuts." Zac patted her arm, "Dave can't handle them." 

"Peanut addiction, huh? Get him some whiskey. That'll cure that." 

Dave smiled. "Ooo! Whiskey! Bring me a bottle." 

"Bring him whatever he wants." Scott shook his head. "Just don't bring him any more peanuts. Ever. I mean, the next time he comes in here, I want the peanuts immediately removed from his table." 

"Don't you think you're taking that to the extremes a little, Scott?" Dave asked, frowning. 

Looking over at Dave, Scott shook his head again. "No. In fact, take the rest of these ones. Dave can't be trusted." 

"Oh for God's sake." Dave grumbled, crossing his arms. 

"Relax, sweetie. We'll get some hard liquor in you, and you won't know the difference between a peanut and a coconut." 

Sylvia walked off, leaving the boys to stare down at their tequila. Scott raised his shot glass. "Toast?" 

Zac raised his as well. "Buttered." 

Their second round was instantaneously polished off, and Dave wiped his mouth with his sleeve. "Hey, Scott?" 

"Hey what?" 

"Are you living around here?" 

"Yeah, just down the road. Why?" 

"D'ya'wanna go back to your place?" 

"Dammit, Dave! Quit coming on to me!" 

"I wasn't coming on to you! I was asking a question!" 

"Sounded like a pick up line to me, Dave." Zac grinned. 

"What?" Dave slapped his hands on the table. "I am not trying to pick up my brother. He doesn't even have a nice butt!" 

Zac coughed. "Um, you looked?" 

"Well...no." 

"So...look." 

"No!" 

Zac shrugged. "Dude, I looked. It's not bad. Stand up, Scotty." 

Scott stood up and turned his rear so that Dave could see. Dave started to make some comment, but stopped and tentatively reached out a hand and grabbed Scott's butt. "Wow, Zac. you're right. And it's firm, too!" 

Scott raised an eyebrow and turned. "That's it, Dave. You, me, my place. Right now...c'mon." 

"Aw, c'mon, Scott! Let me have my whiskey first!" 

Sylvia appeared and set it down before him and walked off. Dave looked at the glass. "Yay!" He picked it up and slung it back, then smacked his lips, setting the glass down. "Mmm. Okay, Scotty. Let's go get it on." 

Zac gaped for a moment. "Dave, you're joking, right?" 

"Nope. Scotty's pretty even if his lips look funny. I've had too much to drink. Might as well go get laid?" 

"Well..." Scott said finally. "Whether or not Dave and I end up shacking up tonight, you guys might as well come back to my place. You can't drive home, and it'll save you the expense of a cab." 

Zac let his head fall to the table. "Are you all drunk? You're talking like Taylor!" 

Scott sniffled and wiped one eye. "I wish it was Taylor. He said no when I tried to get him in bed." 

"Did he really?" Zac's eyes widened, "I never thought I'd hear of him turning anyone down!" 

Bob looked up from where he was being fascinated by a tiny crack in his shot glass. "He turned me down too! Where does he get off..." 

"Usually in the bathroom," Zac interrupted. 

"Thank you, Zac." Bob rolled his eyes. "He sleeps with anything that moves, provided it's male, but he refuses to hook up with two of his friends." He paused. "Well, yeah, we were friends then." 

Zac shook his head and raised his hand again, calling Sylvia over. "Hey, Sylvie? How much is all this? We're gonna head over to Scott's place in a minute and get naked. You wanna come?" 

"Sorry, babies." She smiled. "I'm on duty till 11." 

Bob pushed his glass with one finger, then looked up. "Aw, damn. We'll probably pass out long before then." 

She giggled, shaking her head. "Just promise to come back and see me soon." 

Zac reached an arm around her and pulled her into a pseudo-hug. "You bet, Sylvie. Either here, or traffic school." 

Hopefully the former." She raised an eyebrow, ruffling his hair a bit. "But you definitely made my day one hell of a lot more fun." 

Zac looked up at her with a huge, admiring smile. "Ditto, Sylvie. Now, how much do I owe ya?" 

"You promise to come back?" 

"All of us." 

"It's on the house." 

"You're too sweet." Zac stood, kissing her on the cheek softly. "We'll definitely be dropping by again soon." 

Sylvia blushed. "Thank you, Zac...all of you. Now, get out of here before the waitresses decide to tie you up to the pool table." 

Bob raised an eyebrow. "Is that an option?" 

"No, that's not an option, now shoo!" Sylvie laughed, waving them off. 

Scott stood up and smoothed down his skirt. "Okay, guys. Up off those cute little asses. We've got a block or two to walk." 

"You don't uh, have any roommates we should know about, do you Scott?" Dave asked, standing and brushing peanut dust from his legs. 

"Just a kitten named Barbarella." 

"Kitty!" Bob's eyes lit up. 

"Yes, Bob, kitty." Scott smiled, "Shall we go?" 

Zac nodded and the group stumbled out the door and into the sidewalk. Scott led the way, the other three guys hanging behind to watch his ass in the tight skirt. 

Two blocks, and many catcalls for Scott, later, they stopped in front of a building, and Scott greeted the doorman. "Hey Charlie." 

"Hi Scott. Brought some friends?" He raised an eyebrow. 

"Yeah. These are my brothers Dave and Bob, and my friend Zac." 

"Head right on up, then." 

"Thanks, Charlie." 

Scott headed inside, the remainder of the quartet following closely. 

Punching up on the elevator, the doors opened almost immediately, and Scott ushered them inside, pushing 7 as the doors closed. 

"You live in a building with a doorman?" Dave spoke, finally. 

Scott shrugged. "I'm not exactly struggling, Dave." 

"Well, yeah, but..." 

"But, what? We were famous. We still are, we just don't make as much money. Besides, I've been writing songs again. Madonna just bought one of them for her final album." 

"Really?" Dave looked impressed. "Wow." 

"Hey Dave, I live in a building with a doorman." Zac spoke up. 

"Your latest album hit number 8 on Billboard. I don't doubt it, Zac." 

"I do too..." Bob finally broke in. 

"Well I live in the ghetto." Dave grumbled as the doors opened. 

Zac laughed. "It's just 'cause you spend all your money paying off speeding tickets." 

"Shut up, Zac. At least I don't have a permanent case of road rage." 

"This way," Scott called over his shoulder, leading them down a hallway. 

Zac was noticing that there were only four doors visible in the hallway and began to wonder just how nice Scott lived. The group reached the furthest door from the elevator and Scott unlocked the door and flung it open, walking it. 

Zac soon found out, as he walked into the spacious apartment, brightly lit and well-decorated. His place was nice, but it wasn't...this. 

Scott smiled nervously. "Um, the cleaning lady sort of quit a few days ago. I know it's not much, but..." 

Bob looked over from where a finely woven tapestry had caught his eye. "Scott... Not much? This is...opulent." 

Blushing, Scott motioned them all onward. "The living room's through here...it's more comfortable." 

"Any priceless paintings that we should be expecting?" Zac asked. 

"You guys, really, it's not that nice. My neighbors, now talk about extravagant..." 

"And who are your neighbors? Tyra Banks and whoever she married?" 

"You've been here before?" 

Dave shook his head. "Scott, I must say, I'm quite impressed. I didn't know drag queens were living this nice nowadays." 

Scott shrugged. "It's not like I get paid for dressing like this." He gestured around the spacious living room they'd wandered into. "Have a seat." 

The group situated themselves on the pristine white furniture; Scott on a recliner, the others on the sofa. Scott crossed his legs and looked over at Dave. "So, Dave, do you want me to wash off the makeup before we makeout?" 

Dave thought for a moment, "Considering the color and permanent staying power of your lipliner, I'd rather not have it all over my face, so yeah, go wash up." 

"Wait, wait, wait," Bob broke in. "I thought you guys were kidding?" 

Dave shrugged. "Bob, I'm horny. Scott looks good. I'm half drunk and it's been a tough day. I want tongues on me and he offered. I'm not going to say no." 

Bob shook his head. "There's one person in this room I'd make out with, and Scott, it's not you." 

Scott raised an eyebrow. "Then...who?" 

Bob shrugged. "Zac." 

Zac shrugged as well, grabbed Bob and kissed him. Then, he pulled back and shrugged again. "What? If you guys are going to get it on, I'm going to have some fun too." 

Dave sighed. "Scott, would you please just go and wash your face?" 

Scott giggled and walked off down a well-lit hallway. Dave stayed on the couch, looking around. "I can't believe I never knew my brother lived so nice. I wonder how much Madonna paid him." 

"I'm willing to bet the song alone paid for the decorating job, and the royalties are keeping him here month to month." Zac looked around in semi-awe. 

Bob nodded and let his hand snake around Zac's waist. "I'll bet. So, Zac, do you wanna get it on now or wait until Scott gets back?" 

"Mmm..." Zac thought for a moment. "Now sounds good to me." 

"Good." Bob stood up and straddled Zac's legs. "What fun, kinky thing would you like to do first?" 

"This." Zac smiled, before clamping his lips down on Bob's neck and sucking hard. 

Dave looked over at Bob's arched back and Zac's luscious lips attending his neck and decided to go find what was keeping Scott. Walking down the hallway he had seen Scott take, he listened for movement behind each of the doors. The hallway was long and lined with the few family pictures which weren't taken for teen magazines. Dave noticed one door that was slightly open and headed for it. He could hear Scott singing softly on the other side of the door, water running in a sink and splashing every once in a while. Pushing softly on the door, Dave entered. 

Scott turned at the sound, and smiled. "Hi," 

"Hi. What's keeping you?" 

"Lots and lots of eyeliner." Scott grinned. 

Dave smiled and got a little closer to Scott, resting his hands on Scott's hips and his chin on Scott's shoulder. "I think I can live with a little eyeliner." 

"Oh, really?" Scott purred, grabbing a towel and drying his face quickly. "Well, in that case, where do you want to go?" 

Dave twisted Scott around and leaned him against the sink. "Nowhere." Weaving his fingers into Scott's hair, Dave pulled him into a soft kiss. 

Scott melted into the embrace, letting his tongue trace over Dave's lips, and eventually into his mouth. 

Dave broke the kiss and tilted Scott's head to the side slightly. Leaning in, he let his lips touch Scott's jaw and travel down to the base of his neck where Dave snaked out his tongue and tasted Scott's warm flesh. 

Scott moaned at the gentle touch, wrapping his arms around Dave's back and pulling him closer. 

Dave let his hands slide up Scott's body to the top buttons of his shirt. Slowly seperating them, Dave let his lips follow his fingers, letting the room be silent but for Scott's occasional moans and pants and the slow drip of water from the faucet behind Scott's back. 

Scott willingly let Dave removed the silky object from his skin, and offered no objections when he unclasped and removed the bra in almost the same instant. 

Dave giggled. "Really, Scott. Curves?" 

Scott shrugged. "You can buy them at any major department store." 

Shaking his head, Dave let his lips fall to Scott's chest again, revelling in it's hairless wonderment. "Damn, Scott... Do you wax, too?" 

Scott was silent and expressionless. 

Dave watched him for a moment, then gave him a soft kiss. "She really screwed you over, didn't she?" 

Scott whimpered a little, then nodded. "Yeah, she did." 

Dave wrapped his arms around Scott and held him for a moment, letting his fingers trace patterns on Scott's back. 

Meanwhile, back on the couch, Zac had succeeded in getting Bob out of his shirt and shoes and was now debating with himself about the best way to get Bob to take off his pants. 

Bob leaned in and kissed Zac's chest lovingly. "Oh, God, Zac. What the hell do you wash with?" 

"Huh? Why?" 

"Because your skin is smoother and tastier than Haagen-Daaz." 

"Um, thanks? Now, sit up." 

Bob back off a bit, confusion filling his eyes. "Why?" 

Zac grabbed Bob and pushed him back on the couch. "Because those pants are in my way." 

"Oh." 

Licking his lips lightly, Zac leaned down and kissed Bob's stomach, feeling him shiver slightly. Reaching up and undoing the button on Bob's jeans, Zac trailed his tongue down the lines of Bob's muscles to the zipper. Then, situating it firmly between his teeth, Zac backed away, smiling as Bob moaned softly. 

Zac smiled at the response, and continued to peel the clothing from Bob's body, tossing the jeans on the arm of another chair. 

Bob happily remained frozen under Zac's influence, though he did nothing to keep the moans and gentle urgings from passing his lips. 

"You're awful cute," Zac whispered, climbing back up to meet Bob's lips in a soft kiss. 

Bob smiled, wrapping his arms around Zac's back and pressing their lips more firmly together. 

As Zac and Bob had been stripping, Dave and Scott were busying themselves trying to find a comfortable position to make out in. Scott was down to his Jockey for hers and Dave was in his boxers, but for both of them, it was rather uncomfortable to lean against the hard porcelain of the sink or the bathtub and the door seemed to squeak a bit much to be of use. 

Scott sighed, stroking Dave's hair a little. "I'm a moron." 

"Why?" 

"My bedroom adjoins this bathroom..." he began, and Dave giggled. 

"Yeah, you're a moron." 

"But, you love me anyway?" 

Dave kissed Scott fervently and pushed him through the doorway to Scott's room. Once Scott was splayed erotically across the bed, Dave answered. "I love you, always." 

"Good." Scott smiled, propping himself up on one elbow. Dave surveyed the bed with a smile. Typical Scott, leopard print bedspread with black satin sheets. 

Climbing up next to Scott, Dave growled sexily and licked his lips. He kissed Scott's neck softly and whispered into his ear, "What's your first base and how much longer until I can round second?" 

Scott raised an eyebrow and smiled. "First base is getting me on the bed. Feel free to steal second anytime." 

Dave let his tongue run the length of Scott's ear, then parted and let his lips fall on his stomach. Kissing his way back up to Scott's throat, Dave let a hand fall on Scott's side, gradually sliding down until he was cupping Scott's manhood and caressing it gently, leaving Scott to moan quietly. 

In the other room, much the same was occuring. Zac was continuing to tease Bob, running his fingers over Bob's boxers and enjoying his squirms. 

Bob had been rather silent and still up to that point, but now he grabbed Zac's teasing hand and looked him in the eye. "Zac, I don't want to throw you down and rape you, so either move on or get on with it." 

Grinning, Zac kissed him quickly. "And what exactly are you suggesting that I do, hmm?" 

"Hand job or blow job. I'm quite fine with either just so long as I get off." 

"I've always wondered what it would be like to go down on a guy..." Zac began. "Lots of interesting things to work with." 

"Zac?" 

"What?" 

"No teeth. Understand?" 

Sliding his thumbs under the waistband of Bob's boxers and pulling them down slowly, Zac smiled. "Bob, I've received blow jobs in my time. I like to think that I sort of know what to use and what not to use to make you feel good." 

"I'm just saying, Zac," Bob smiled as he put his hands behind his head, "it's not something I'd put past you." 

Zac stuck out his tongue at Bob. 

"Don't stick it out if you're not going to use it." 

"Oh, I'm going to use it all right. And, you're going to love it." 

"Oh really?" Bob smiled. 

"Yes, really." Zac grinned, tracing a finger over Bob's length before letting his tongue follow the path. 

Bob moaned softly, letting Zac's warm breath fall gently on his skin. Zac's tongue worked Bob's length firmly, tracing over everything and tasting, relishing, and yearning to reach for more. 

"Zac..." Bob spoke finally. "You're being a tease again." 

"Sorry," Zac whispered, before letting his mouth finally close over Bob's shaft gently. 

"Oh, don't worry," Bob said with a gasp. "That more than makes up for it." 

Zac let the comment go without one of his own, instead focusing his attention on the part of Bob he was becoming intimate with. 

Dave was, at that moment, pulling down Scott's underwear with a slight grin on his face. "Scott... Did you shave just for me?" 

Scott blushed and reached a hand down to cover what hair no longer did. "Dave...She started me doing this. She said she liked the way it felt. I only keep doing it out of habit." 

Dave grabbed Scott's hand and pulled it away so that he could see Scott's manhood in all it's child-like glory. He leaned down and placed a soft kiss at the base. "Scott... I'm going to help you get over her." 

Moaning, Scott nodded. "Dave, I...she just made me do all this stuff, and I don't know why I let her." 

"It's her, Scott." Dave smiled. "We all fucked ourselves over at one point or another." 

Scott whimpered softly. "What did she do to you?" 

Dave stroked Scott's thigh gently. "She made me into a bit of a control freak and made me think I hated you and Bob. But, let's forget about her and work on the damage she did. Scott, tell me what to do." 

Scott sighed, closing his eyes before he spoke. "Make me feel like me again, Dave. I haven't felt in control of anything in such a long time." 

Dave rested his head on Scott's stomach. "And I feel like I've been too much in control for too long. Scott, this is perfect. You remember what it's like to have control, I remember what it's like to lose it." 

Scott stroked Dave's hair absently. "So, what are you implying, Dave?" 

"I don't know, Scott." Dave smiled. "You're the one in control here." 

"Okay, so, uh, could you jack me off?" Scott looked pleadingly down at Dave. 

"Yes." Dave remained still. 

Scott raised his eyebrows. "Why aren't you?" 

"You only asked if I could. And, I can. But, you have to tell me to actually do it." 

"All right then, Dave, jack me off." 

"Gladly." Dave smiled. 

With precise movements, Dave slid his hand around Scott's dick, gently manuevering him into the most comfortable position for both of them. Then, with a firm grip that just touched Scott's nerve endings, Dave began to move his hand upward with a slight angle so that he excited every centimeter of Scott's body. 

Scott moaned softly as Dave's hand continued to work. "You don't know how long it's been..." he groaned finally. 

Dave planted a soft kiss on Scott's hip. "How long it's been since what, baby?" 

"Since I had anyone," Scott whispered. "I just...I don't know." 

"Do you want me to stop?" 

"Did I tell you to?" 

"No..." 

"Then I don't want you to stop." 

Grinning, Dave continued to expertly pump Scott, eliciting small whimpers and groans of pleasure from him. "Your wish is my command." 

Scott reached down and let his hand tangle with Dave's hair. "Dave... Oh, gosh. This is hard... Um, suck my cock." 

Dave didn't respond, simply smiled and moved between Scott's splayed legs before capturing his length between his lips. 

Zac was trying to find a comfortable way to get more of Bob's dick down his throat without injuring his vocal chords or gagging too much or having his jaw hurt much worse than it already did. 

He was beginning to wonder why girls ever agreed to do this in the first place. It didn't feel particuarly wonderful, and all it had succeeded in doing thus far was choking him and causing Bob to giggle. 

Finally, he'd had enough. Pulling off Bob with a lip-smacking pop, Zac glared up at the giggling boy. "What the hell is so funny?" 

"You just look so uncomfortable." Bob laughed, covering his face with a pillow as he snorted into it. 

"Well, were you enjoying it?" 

"Yeah... But, I'd like it better if you liked it too. But, your eyes are watering, you're struggling not to close your mouth and you're choking. That's not cool. Face it, Zac, you weren't meant to suck cock for a living." 

Zac blushed. "Sorry, I mean, I'll finish if you want me to..." 

"Don't worry about it. I'm sure you'll be better with your hand, anyway." 

Blushing even more, Zac crawled up next to Bob, letting his hand remain to finish what his mouth couldn't. 

"You're cute when you're embarassed." Bob grinned, placing a quick kiss on Zac's waiting lips. 

Zac grasped Bob's penis firmly, rubbing his thumb against the spots he knew would be particularly pleasureful. "And, you, you're damn fine. Why did I not see it before?" 

"Too busy staring at Scott's ass?" 

Scott's ass, meanwhile, was laying on his bed in a room just down the hall. Dave continued to let his tongue trace patterns on Scott's cock, happy at his responses. Zac may not have been blessed with oral talents, but Dave certainly wasn't lacking. 

"Dave, damn it... Oh! Suck me harder. Harder! And use your tongue more." 

Happy to oblige, Dave continued to pleasure Scott, while Scott continued to exercise his newfound love for control. 

Dave was working Scott over as fast and hard as he could, feeling his throat begin to stretch as he got up on his hands and knees to be more comfortable as Scott was now beginning to pump himself gently into Dave's mouth, almost ready to pound him into submission for his release. 

Dave sensed Scott peaking as he began moving a little faster, encouraging Scott through his actions to pump a bit harder, forcing Dave to work in order to keep up. 

Scott was moaning and panting loudly, both hands grasping Dave's head, his hips bucking with wild abandon until the sweet, soft release washed over him, letting his hips lose their momentum as Dave finished his work. 

Dave pulled away as the sticky seed filled his mouth, letting Scott spend himself before he swallowed and watched as he fell back on the bed, panting. 

Bob was all but grunting as Zac's hand rubbed everything the right way. "Damn, Zac, jerk off...oh!...much?" 

"A little." Zac smiled, as Bob moaned in pleasure when his fingers nimbly worked over a particularly sensitive spot. 

"Zac..." Bob was panting and moaning, his hips shifting slightly. "Harder!" 

"Aww, c'mon Bob," Zac giggled, "Lemme hear you really beg for it." 

"Zac! Please!" Bob was clutching the cushions of the couch, his eyes shut tight and his chest rising and falling rapidly. "Just get me off, please!" 

"I guess that was pretty good." Zac laughed as his hand began to pump Bob harder and faster. 

Bob let his head push against the arm of the couch, his back arching and his hips grinding. With a loud moan, Bob pushed himself against Zac with a final, hard thrust. 

The warm seed dispersed itself over Zac's hand and Bob's stomach, as Bob collapsed with a groan and Zac grinned, pleased with himself. 

Bob sighed softly and reached down to play with Zac's hair. Zac smiled up at Bob and experimentally licked up an errant bit of cum from Bob's stomach. He looked thoughtful as he tasted it, letting the texture register as well. "Hey, Bob?" 

"Mmm...Yeah,Zac?" 

"You're delicious." 

"Really?" Bob smiled. "No one's ever told me that before." 

"Well, you are." Zac shrugged, laying his head on Bob's chest gently. 

In the bedroom, catching his breath, finally, Scott looked down at Dave and smiled softly. "Thank you, Dave." 

Dave scooted a little closer to Scott. "Anytime, Scott. You're wonderful." Scott closed his eyes in embarassment, then turned to Dave and kissed him softly. 

Dave returned the kiss, wrapping his arms around Scott and tracing soft patterns on his back. 

Scott broke the kiss and pulled Dave closer to him. "Dave..." 

Dave let his hands rest reassuringly on Scott's back. "Yeah, sweet thing?" 

Scott giggled softly. "Have you wanted to do this for a long time or something?" 

Dave shook his head. "No. Only since I saw you tonight." 

"Do you like me better that way?" 

Dave was silent for a moment, but spoke softly once he figured out what to say. "I don't like you better any way. I love you. But, seeing you when you've let your guard down and you're vulnerable... It's one of the sexiest things in the world, even though it's hard for me to say that." 

"Mmmm..." Scott frowned a little, "I love you too, but..." 

"But what?" 

"But how did you just decide to go and do this? I... I don't know. I know that none of us had all that much liquor and yet, all of our inhibitions are gone. Has it been that long since any of us got any that we're all just ready to fuck anything?" 

Dave shrugged, kissing Scott's cheek softly. "I don't know. Maybe in the back of my mind, I've always wanted to do this. All I know is that I'm enjoying myself." 

Scott kissed Dave's neck in response. "Have you ever done this before?" 

Dave shook his head, "Have I ever messed around with a drag queen in a leopard print bed in the nicest apartment I've ever seen? No, can't say I have." 

Scott laughed, poking him in the side. "You know what I mean, Dave." 

"You mean, have I ever had sexual relations with another guy before, right?" 

"Well, yeah." 

"Well... yeah. After her. I didn't want to see another woman for a while, so I got myself a.. boyfriend, I guess you could say. We'd go out, get drunk, then go back to his place and get each other off." 

Scott nodded. "What happened to him?" 

"Met a girl." Dave smirked. "How about you, Scott? You've got to be getting hit on..." 

Scott blushed and tried to turn away a bit, but Dave held him fast. "Well, uh, not really. I get hit on, but I always just assumed they saw the ass and didn't bother to assume that maybe they saw that I really was a guy. And, when I'm not all gussied up, I don't really go out much." 

Dave stroked Scott's hair, nodding. "So you play the part of the reclusive musician as well?" 

"I guess, yeah, I guess you could say that." Scott smiled a little, curling up into Dave's tight embrace. 

On the couch, Zac had his arms wrapped loosely around Bob's thin waist. "Hey, Bobby?" 

Bob turned kissed Zac's nose. "Yeah?" 

Zac looked at him with curiosity. "Are you... okay with this?" 

Bob smiled back. "Yeah. I am. I just wish I'd gotten you sooner." 

"Does that mean you're going to keep me?" Zac grinned, pulling Bob tighter to him. 

"If you want." Bob shrugged, entwining his fingers with Zac's. 

Zac nodded softly and kissed Bob's nose softly. "You bet your sweet ass." 

Bob giggled a little, letting his hands come to rest on the forementioned part of Zac's anatomy. "I wonder what Scott and Dave are up to." 

Zac grinned. "They're probably dry humping and tonguing each other. Wanna go see?" 

Bob nodded. "Let's. I wonder where, though. Scott's gotta have a lot of bedrooms in this place..." 

Giggling, Zac started to stand up. "Bobby, all we have to go is follow the moaning. Besides, they walked down that hallway." 

Bob stood as well, and linked his hand with Zac's. "True, but this place is large. What if we can't hear them?" 

"Well, then we just open every door we see until we find them. Of course, any room reeking of Chanel might very well be it." 

Nodding, Bob pulled Zac behind him. "Let's try...this one." He flung open the first door her found. "Nope, kitchen. Nice kitchen, but no brothers." 

Zac headed on to the next door, flinging it open as well. "Hmm... bathroom. Nice bathroom, no brothers." 

Bob pulled Zac to the next door and opened it, then smiled. "Bedroom. Brothers." 

Zac looked in to find Dave and Scott lying on a leopard print bed, with Scott indignantly yanking a sheet over their bodies. "Thanks for knocking, Bob." 

Laughing, Bob walked into the room, still holding Zac's hand. "Why knock? I figured, we're naked, it doesn't matter too much if you are too." 

Dave grinned. "Good thing they didn't walk in five minutes ago, Scott." 

Scott laughed as he sat up, pulling Dave with him. "True." 

Grabbing Scott around the waist and pulling him into his lap, Dave laughed. "So, how much fun did you guys have?" 

Zac blushed and tucked his hair behind his ears. "Uh, enough for now?" 

"C'mon." Scott smiled. "You can tell us. We'll tell you, we promise." 

Bob pulled Zac over into a casual embrace. "There's not much to tell. Zac just jerked me off. But, damn, it was good." 

Zac sighed softly and whispered, "Thank you," into Bob's ear. 

"Welcome." Bob giggled, wrapping his arms around Zac's middle tightly. "How about you two?" He raised his eyebrows at Scott and Dave. 

"We played a game of give and take." Dave smiled. "I gave, Scott took." 

Zac chuckled softly. "I'm guessing you didn't actually do any fucking though. We didn't hear any screams or really loud moans and something tells me we're all taking it a little on teh slow side even though we're all pretty close to being drunk." 

Scott smiled. "I can fix that. I'm not being a very good host, I'm afraid. Does anyone want anything to drink?" 

Zac laughed. "No, thanks. I just had Bob. 'Sides, I don't think any of us need to be any more drunk." 

"True, but I mean in general. I have a full kitchen." 

"Yeah, we saw," Bob said, nodding. 

Dave kissed Scott's shoulder and crawled out from under the sheet, stretching once his feet were firmly planted on the carpet. "Anyone hungry? I feel like cooking." 

"Yeah." Zac grinned. "Make me some pasta." 

"Yes, sir." Dave rolled his eyes. "Any other requests?" 

Bob swayed in indecision for a moment, then smiled. "I want scrambled eggs." 

"Scott?" 

"Whatever you're having." 

"Well," Dave thought for a moment, "Pasta sounds good to me, too." 

"Bob?" Zac asked, tightening his grip on Bob's waist. "Why do you feel the need to have scrambled eggs?" 

"I dunno." Bob shrugged. "Why do you want pasta?" 

"'Cause there's nothing better than some simple noodles with butter and salt." 

Bob raised an eyebrow. "Nothing better?" 

Zac blushed again, beratting himself for letting Bob's words affect him so much. "Well, Bob, I already had some of that. Now I want pasta." 

Dave smiled. "I'm going now. Scott, you wanna come?" 

"Yes." Scott nodded, beginning to follow Dave like a lost puppy. 

"Good, because I don't know where your kitchen is." 

"First door on the left," Bob and Zac spoke simultaneously. 

Scott laughed. "They know their way around my apartment better than I do." 

Zac gasped as the sheet fell away from Scott's body. "Um, Scott? Did... Dave do that to you?" 

Scott blushed. "I...no...I mean." His eyes took on a pained look as he almost subconsciously moved closer to Dave, who shot Zac a look. 

Zac moved a little closer to Bob who hugged him protectively. "No, I didn't mean it like that. I like it. I'd actually thought about shaving mine off too." 

Scott's eyes widened. "Really? I just did it because...someone told me to once." 

Zac nodded in understanding, and smiled at Scott, who returned the grin gratefully. "Understood. And Dave, where's my food?" 

Dave smiled and grabbed Scott's hand, pulling him toward the door. "You'll have it in 15. We're going to leave you two alone. Don't do anything we wouldn't, okay?" 

In response, Zac chucked a pillow at his head. As soon as the two had departed, Bob lay his head on Zac's shoulder and chuckled. "Were you serious, Zac?" he asked after a moment. 

Zac nodded, looking over at the door. He started speaking, though absently. "Yeah... Say, Bob? What would you say to raiding Scott's bathroom for a couple razors and, I dunno... Give in to baldness?" 

Bob raised an eyebrow. "I dunno, I mean, you said you'd considered it. It had never actually crossed my mind." 

"C'mon, Bob. Make your brother feel better." 

"I cannot believe I'm considering this!" 

"Bob... It will grow back." 

With a sigh, Bob threw his hands into the air and nodded. "Okay, sure." 

Zac giggled. "Thanks, Bobby." With an unnatural exuberance, he bounded from the bed and into the bathroom. "Razor, razor, razor? Found one!" he called back. "Ooo...yummy, raspberry rain!" 

Bob shook his head and followed Zac into the bathroom. He closed the door behind him and turned on the water in the sink, adjusting it so that it was lukewarm. Grabbing a razor from Zac and examining it for rust and dullness, Bob also grabbed the can of shaving cream. "Okay, Zac. Lather up." 

Zac complied, working the sweet smelling cream into a lather which he quickly spread over his lower abdomen. "Done," he proclaimed. 

Bob smiled and gave himself the same treatment. The pair held their razors up, tapped them together and went to work. 

"Don't nick yourself," Zac commented after a moment. "Those are prized goods." 

Bob laughed, washing off his razor. "Oh, trust me. I don't want a cut down there either." 

"Goddammit," Zac cried a moment later. "I spoke too soon. Owwww." 

Bob rolled his eyes and leaned down to where a drop of crimson was building up on the surface of Zac's skin. He blew softly on the cut and gave it a careful kiss, then stood up. "There. Is that better?" 

Zac leaned over and wiped a bit of shaving cream off of Bob's lip. "Yeah. Much. Thanks." 

A little later, Zac announced he was finished, and Bob quickly stated the same. Surveying himself, Bob wrinkled his nose. "I don't know, Zac..." he began. 

Zac made a face at his work as well. But, then he looked over at Bob and smiled. "Woah, Bob. That's a good look for you." 

Bob looked over at Zac. "Hey, yeah. You too." 

"Has it been fifteen minutes yet?" Zac wondered, turning on the water and watching the water drain. 

"Yeah, it has. Wanna go find Scott and Dave?" 

"Sure. Might as well. We've got nothing better to do." 

Bob raised an eyebrow. "You don't mean that, do you?" 

Zac laughed. "Nope. But, I want my pasta and to see the look on Scott's face when he sees us." 

Bob giggled. "Yeah, I do want to see that." 

"Then come on." Zac smiled, turning to open the bathroom door and walking into the hallway. 

Soft moaning could be heard coming from the kitchen. With a grin, Zac opened the door and walked in. "Hey, guys. Where's my pasta?" 

Bob followed closely. "And my scrambled eggs?" 

Scott and Dave jumped apart, and Dave turned back to the stove, where the pasta was threatening to boil over. "Coming," he grumbled, grabbing a wooden spoon. 

Scott, blushing, had turned to face the two with a sheepish grin on his face. The grin soon turned into an expression of shock as his eyes travelled the entire length of their bodies. "What the hell...?" he began. 

Dave turned the burner on the stove off and grabbed for two potholders that were sitting off to the side. Bringing the pasta over to the sink, he started draining it. "What is it, Scott?" 

"See for yourself," Scott squeaked, supporting himself on the back of a chair and watching Bob and Zac, who were giggling quite contentedly between themselves. 

"See, you shouldn't have left us alone." Bob smirked. 

Dave poured the pasta into a bowl and threw in several pieces of butter, stirring it gently. Then, he turned toward Zac and Bob and gasped, the wooden spoon falling out of his hand. "What did I tell your guys right before I left the room?" 

Zac shrugged. "Don't do anything you guys wouldn't do." 

"Well?" 

Bob pointed over at Scott. 

Dave frowned. "Oh...yeah." 

Scott just gaped. "You two, oh my God, why the hell?" 

Shrugging, Zac answered. "It seemed like the thing to do at the time." 

Bob nodded. "Scott, we did it so you wouldn't feel so weird about it." 

"Well...thanks." Scott looked puzzled for a moment. "I do appreciate it, but, man, I didn't think you were serious, Zac." 

"When am I ever not serious?" Zac said as he held up his first two fingers and gave himself 'bunny ears'. 

Rolling his eyes, Scott indicated the table. "Oh, just sit and eat your pasta." 

Bob sniffed. "I don't suppose Dave, um, got around to the eggs?" 

With a smile, Dave walked over to the table and indicated a plate with an upside-down bowl resting on it. "They're staying warm under the dish. You want ketchup?" 

Bob smiled. "Yes, please." 

"Such a good boy." Dave grinned. "Always so polite. 

"And cute, too!" 

Dave laughed. "Yes, Zac. Cute, too." 

After placing the bowl of pasta in the middle of the table, Dave fetched Bob his ketchup and the four of them began to eat. Conversation became optional, as each realised just how hungry he was. 

Zac grabbed a final noodle with his fork and placed it delicately in his mouth, chewing slowly. He set his fork down and smiled. "Damn, Dave. Best noodles I've ever had." 

Dave grinned and wiped his mouth. "Thanks Zac, I try hard. It's what comes from living in the ghetto." 

Scott thoughtfully chewed for a moment. "Y'know, I've got four bedrooms here. If you guys want to move in, I'd be cool with it. Sex, pasta and company, all of the good variety, are my favorite things in the world." 

Zac raised an eyebrow. "Seriously?" 

Scott nodded. "You can help me put on my lipliner, Zac." 

Dave snorted. "Scott, you need help. But, you really mean it? I can get out of the ghetto and have a leopard print bedspread?" 

"Actually, I think you have the options of tiger, zebra and fuzzy red velvet." 

"Dibs on the red velvet," Zac cried. 

"Lord..." Dave rolled his eyes. "Scott, that's really, really sweet of you. But I wouldn't just want to come in on top of you...I mean, we'd split rent, right?" 

Scott coughed. "Um, well, see... I sort of part own this building." 

Dave's eyes went wide. "Oh. Okay. So, what else can I do for you?" 

Shrugging, Scott stood and began clearing the bowls away. "Oh, I don't know. Lots of things." 

Zac and Bob, who had been whispering, looked up suddenly. "Shave!" Zac giggled. 

Dave's mouth dropped open. "What?" He sighed softly. "Well, I don't really want to be the only one in the house with hair, so, if you're all moving in, what the hell, right?" 

Scott laughed. "You guys are just too sweet. Bob, Zac, care to lead the way?" 

Jumping up, Zac and Bob scrambled for the bathroom to get things ready while Scott stayed behind. Walking up behind Dave, Scott looped his arms around Dave's waist. "You're really going to do this for us?" 

Dave turned and smiled. "For you." 

Grabbing Dave's hand, Scott led him back to the bathroom where Bob was adjusting the water temperature and Zac was cleaning the razors a bit better than he'd left them. 

"So..." Dave smiled, "You gonna do it for me, or am I going to have to learn how to do it myself?" 

Scott kissed him again. "I don't know. Do you trust me?" 

Dave licked his lips slowly, hesitating. "Yeah. I do." 

"Well, then... Watch and learn." 

Slowly and deliberately, Scott spread a liberal amount of shaving cream on Dave, before taking the razor in hand and gently running it over his skin. 

Dave shivered and shut his eyes tightly. "Oh, man... That feels weird." 

Scott giggled. "Just be glad I'm not shaving your legs." 

Dave whimpered. "Don't make me think about that. I am quite proud of my legs and how nice they look in shorts." 

Bob guffawed. "Gee, Dave... Never knew you had such a hang-up about hair." 

"Well...I do," Dave grumbled, closing his eyes. 

"Almost done." Scott grinned. 

Dave let out a whining moan. "I cannot believe I'm doing this!" 

Scott laughed. "Okay, done. And, I must say, you're gorgeous." 

Dave looked down and perfectly imitated Bob and Zac's earlier actions. "Scott, this is...demeaning..." 

Throwing the razor into the sink, Scott grabbed both sides of Dave and pulled him into a hedonistic kiss. "Nope. Not demeaning. It looks good. Look at it in the mirror." 

Dave turned his eyes to the mirror and surveyed himself. Sighing, he kissed Scott on the cheek. "Well...I could get used to it." 

Scott smiled. "Good." 

Zac grinned and wrapped his arms around Bob. "So, who's gonna call Taylor and let him know what he's missing?" 

Bob shrugged. "I don't know. What's he missing?" 

Zac gasped and smiled widely. "Isn't it obvious? Good company, good sex and good pasta." 

Scott smiled. "We should invite him up here for Christmas." 

Zac giggled. "Yeah. It'll give me an excuse to share a bed with Bob." 

"In that case, we need to invite Ike as well." Dave grinned. "Scott and I will just have to double up." 

"Are you saying we need an excuse?" Bob grinned. "We could alternate. One night in your room, one night in mine, and so on and so on." 

Scott nodded. "Sounds like a good deal to me. That whole 'change of scenery' thing. So, when are you guys moving in?" 

Zac smiled. "My lease expires at the end of this month. I was going to renew but..." 

"I pay by the week," Bob supplied. 

"I live in the Bronx. No one cares if I live or die," Dave grinned, "So I can just move in tomorrow." 

Scott smiled happily. "Okay, great. This place is ready for you guys as soon as I get some more towels, then." 

Zac giggled. "We can all go pick out linens in the morning." 

Pulling together in pairings, they all smiled and thought about what it would be like to wake up next to the man they had loved that night. Bob was the first to break the moment of pondering. "Is this going to work? I mean, all of us. None of us were drunk tonight and I think it's starting to wear off anyway. Are we going to feel the same way in the morning when we remember what we did and why we did it?" 

Scott thought for a moment. "If you all can deal with my cross-dressing tendencies and general slovenliness..." 

"And my tendency to get drunk and aggressive..." Zac grinned. 

Dave smiled. "And the fact that I like to spend all my time cooking..." 

"And then there's the way I hardly ever sleep," Bob finished. 

"Yeah," Scott grinned, surveying them, "I think we'll do fine."


End file.
